Kris Impossible: 2011

I was thinking about our Magic card color combos the other night and I thought, "Hmm, what if I'm not a red/blue, maybe I'm more this/that. Is Tony a blue/black? I don't think Brady's a black/red."

I thought of this again when I looked over some of my journal yesterday. What do you write about in a journal mostly? The past, present, or future? A lot of my entries are pretty boring day to day stuff, just a log of what happened. Which is fine in a historical sense I guess. I'll have a good laugh reading about staying up till 6 playing Magic. The journal's mostly just a lot of Past that I always imagine will keep me grounded in the future and impart wisdom to the masses. It started intriguing me when I made predictions of what I'm looking forward to or things that I want to accomplish. I've had my fair share of letdowns forever scratched in ink, but I also have a pretty good idea of what keeps me motivated. (as far as the present goes, I started writing what time I write the entry--because a 4AM one is very different than a 12 noon one.)

When I went to the Brazil Cafe a few weeks ago, I picked up a wishing string--where you tie it to something, make a wish, and it'll come true when it falls off. I never used it. I mean, a penny piece of string and a wish for anything in the world, even a sandwich, could the bar for use be any lower? But I never used it. I even had a place picked out on my handlebars for it (why else would I grab a red one?). For me, that string is more real than my journal. It was a (sort of) gift, from another culture (imbuing it with a sort of mysticism for me), and I would be tying it to one of my top 10 worldly possessions. I felt the same way when I went to the cathedral Duomo Milan and lit a candle with a wish--and that one actually came true.

There was a painting thing for New Years at the Japanese Cultural Center. I grabbed a blank canvas and painted that pixel tiger for the "year of the tiger" theme. There was a half sheet of paper that came with it: name, occupation. I thought that was weird. Occupation? I mean we're all painters in that moment, what is the significance of occupation? (so philosophical, right?) Is it a way of padding our self esteem--that it's ok to suck at painting because "By day I'm actually an accountant at Goldman Sachs--please excuse the poor dry brush technique." But maybe that's the negative edge, it's probably more for the "Everyone Paints" aspect. Long story short, I put Game Designer.

I was a little hesitant to write that. First I thought it was because I might have to hear about it later from people who'd tell me to the contrary (and with fairly good reason). Maybe it's because I wasn't doing it from 9 to 5 and getting paid for it. Eventually, reality won out and I realized the mental commitment that writing Game Designer represented to me. And it's those hard decisions that make little moments important. I haven't forgotten about writing those two words and the fact that they're coming true more and more.

All this is my long way of saying that it is my experience that knowing exactly what you want is far more important than your current ability to achieve it.

In the end, I do think I'm pretty red/blue. And I do want to be red/blue. And so that's what I'll be. I like the idea of being Doc Brown, of being Indiana Jones. Overlapping with people doesn't bother me (but, of course, when I take a look at peoples' possible combinations I immediately rule out red/blue because "pssh, no one's red/blue like me"). It's a little case of the self-fulfilling prophecy. A little of the chicken and egg. Is there a best color combo? Well duh, it's the one you pick.

I'm gonna sign off now--I have a red piece of string to figure out.

Kris Impossible

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Color Combos

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

they're just RESOLUTIONS

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